To furnish a Feast compleatly, there must be Tarts, Custards, Flawnes, Flap-jackets, and by al meanes a Foole or two: and at a Feast it so hapned, that a Counsellour at Law (or of Law) being at the table, amongst other dishes that stood before him, hee fell to feeding most heartily upon a Foole, and lovingly likeing it so well, demaunded of the Mistresse of the House, what good name that most excellent dish of meate had: shee answered him, that the name of it was a Foole, The Lawyer replied, hat hee had often tasted the goodnesse of a Terme Foole but for a Table Foole hee never smatch'd one that pleas'd his pailate better, and therefore hee desired her to let him have a note of the ingredients that appertained to the making of such a composition, that his Wife might put it in her booke of Cookery. To which request of his, the Gentle-woman condescended: so after Supper was ended, the Counsellors man drew his pen and inke, and as the Gentle-woman directed him, hee wrot. Item, so much clouted Creame, so much Sugar, so much Rose-water, so many Egges, such and such Spices, with other Simples that are pertinent to Foole-making, which I am not perfit in: But after hee had written all, he knew that his Mistresse would insert it into her Booke, and therefore he thought it fit to give it a title or directions above it, to distinguish it from other receites, wherefore thus he intituled it: A receite to shew my Mistresse, how to make my Master a Foole.
A Tale of a Foole
A Young Gentleman (being a rich Heire) came a woing to a proper Gentle-woman, whose sharpe wit quickly found him to be a Foole, by his playing the Coxcombe, and by his outward gestures; and so shee gave him frumps for his folly, and flouts for his foppery, parting as wisely as they met: which her mother perceiving, beganne to chide her, saying that shee was a squeamish proud baggage to give no more contentfull respect to a Gentleman of his worth and rich hopes, and that she had best to be more tractable to him hereafter, for, (quoth she) your father and I, and his parents are minded and agreed that hee shalbe your Husband. Now, God blesse me, said the maide, for I cannot love him: why canst thou not love him? (quoth the mother,) I know he is very rich: rich, said the maide? I know hee is rich, (But,--.) But quoth the mother, what But: you idle slut, you would say he is but a Foole: you say true mother, said she, it is for that onely that I cannot affect him: the mother reply'd, that for his being a Foole, it was her wisest part to take him; for it was better for her to be married to one that is a Foole already made to her Hand; then after marriage to take the paines to make him one: saying further, who loves their wives better than Fooles? who lets them Eate, Drinke, weare, say, or doe what they please, but Fooles? I tell thee that I was foure yeares married to thy Father, and hee becurb'd me, and restrain'd me of my will so much, that hee almost broake my Heart, till at the last (with a great deale of cost and counsell from my good neighbours and Gossips) and aboundance of care and paines taking, I made him a Foole, (and so he happily continues:) since which time, I have liv'd a Ladies life, full of content and pleasure: and therefore Huswife, no more a doe, but take my counsell, and marry a Foole, if you meane to live a merry and pleasant life.
"Take my counsell, and marry a Foole, if you meane to live a merry and pleasant life"
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