Strong Beere
Two
soldiers of old acquaintance, having beene long asunder, chanced to
meete,
and after salutations they agree'd to enter an Ale-house, where a
formall
fashionable Tapster fill'd them as much nicke and froath with Petars of
Tobacco, as made them (in his estimation) to bee reckoned at two
shillings;
they fell to the discourse of their severall Fortunes and Services, the
one of Russia and Poland, the other of Germany and Sweaden; they talk't
of hunger and thrift, cold, and nakednesse, sieges, and assaults,
Artillery,
Ammunition, Guns, and Drummes, wounds, scarres, death, and all the
perils
incident to men of the Sword.
The Tapster over-hearing them, said, that they were the better welcome for being Souldiers, and that hee had beene one of that Martiall Traine himselfe in the Low-countries, where (hee thank'd God) hee neither did harme, nor took any; the best was, that hee had learn'd so much wit that no man could couzen him: the Souldiers answer'd him, that his labour was worth his travell, in learning so much cunning, and so they paid their reckoning, and departed. They had not gone farre, but they met with another acquaintance, (a cunning shark) to whom they told the bragging confidence of the Tapster: How said he, will he not be couzned? Tell mee where hee dwells, and goe you two and stay at a Taverne that's next him; and I will first be with him, and then come quickly to you. The place being told, and
the Taverne appointed, the witty Soldier
went to the Tapster, and call'd for two Gunnes of Beere; Guns quoth the
Tapster? Canns you would say; the other reply'd, I doe mean Cannes, but
I have been so us'd to Gunnes in the Warres, that I forget my selfe,
and
call every thing a Gunne: So the Beere was fill'd in, and drank, and
the
Tapster fill'd his Gunnes or Cannes by couples, which they dranke
betweene
them; then the Souldier said that hee saw a Tapster winne a Wager
lately
beyond beleefe; for he brought sixe Cannes of Beere from the Tap all
full,
in one hand, and set them on the Table, not spilling one drop; Sir,
said
the Tapster, I dare to lay a Crowne that I can doe that, I will lay as
much that you doe it not said the other; so the Wager was layd on the
Boord,
but whilst the Tapster was filling the Cannes, the Souldier ran away
with
the money, and straight perceived for all his wit and cunning, yet was
able to be couzned.
Drinking at an Ale-house
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